Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
