You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
