I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
