She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
