OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
