U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
