So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
