I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Damn victory sex feels great
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