The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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