its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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