the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
