I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
