a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
