Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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