FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
