well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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