my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
