I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
