there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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