She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
