Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story

(307): View more from Wyoming

The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?

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(416): View more from Toronto

no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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(406): View more from Montana

Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I just cured my dogs munchies

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.

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(863): View more from Florida

I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.

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