It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
