how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
