how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
