Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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