that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
