Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
