my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
