normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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