..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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