Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
