don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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