I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
