I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Couch. On fire.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
