I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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