i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
