I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
