the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
