so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
