U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
