I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
