so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
