she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
