Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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