Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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