ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
