mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
