so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
