All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
home. puking in laundry basket.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
