and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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