quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
