I just saw a hot homeless man
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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